My Experience with....
7 years ago
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Help meeeee!
Nursery. Oh boy. I was really looking forward to Deacon going to nursery, I was! People would ask me for weeks leading up to his entry into Nursery, "When does he go into Nursery?... Soon?... Oh yay!" It wasn't that I was looking forward to 'getting rid of him' in there. I was genuinely looking forward to him getting to spend time with other kids his age because he is shy and doesn't get to spend time with other kids ever. The closer to his first day of nursery it got, the more nervous I was because i knew he'd be sad in there. So the day came and me and dusty walked him into Nursery and sat him down at the tiny table where puzzles were laid out and as we walked away i thought "wow. he really is going to be just fine!" So i walk out and immediately here him start to cry. I walked away to Primary with tears in my eyes hoping nobody starts talking to me or i just might start full on crying. A little while later, a nursery leader comes by to tell me he is crying alot and if i want to go check on him i can. So i do. I go sit in there with him and he clings to me and doesn't want to play or eat snack or anything. After a while, another super sweet mom helps me to leave him again and as soon as i leave I can't help but burst into tears!! Of course Deacon is in there crying his eyes out as well. It was dramatic. And embarrassing. AND pathetic on my part. I literally can not pay attention in my calling because i am constantly wanting to go peak in the window to see what shade of red his crying face is. its sad. sad sad sad. I know its best to keep taking him and letting him get used to it but honestly, it breaks my heart. breaks it into a million pieces. But my heart is easily broken if my baby is sad. I don't know. I had no idea Nursery would cause me such anxiety!! Any advice out there?!?!
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9 comments:
It's tough watching your baby cry. I was seriously worried about Kyler because he always, always cried in Nursery (although honestly he didn't have a very good/consistent experience in there) and he cried every day going to preschool. I even bought books about helping your "shy child", etc. He had some minor adjustment issues when he started kindergarten but he has since moved and been the new kid at school 3 times. They DO grow out if it, trust me. Now he's 13 and doesn't want anything to do with me. Ha!
Oh it's hard to watch your baby cry! The good news is he'll get used to nursery and the separation from mom. Talk about nursery with him and tell him how great it is. Smile when you drop him off, give a quick hug and walk out the door. He'll get the hang of it. And then, if I see you in the hall, I'll give you a BIG hug.
Awwww... having an extremely shy son too, I understand. The nursery is so very new for him. Lots of kids, tons of noise at times, adults that are not mom and dad. This is such a good experience for Deacon though. Be strong Mommy!! You can do this. If you can be strong then it will give Deacon strength, truly it will. I have served in Nursery longer and more times than any other calling I have had since I was 18years old. The parents that are committed to the incredible experience that Nursery is, have happy Nursery children in fewer tear filled Sundays. Parents that show anxiety and angst, their children have a much, much longer drawn out adjustment period. If done well, Nursery is so important. You will be BLOWN AWAY with what he will actually come home having learned each week. And the day he sings a little primary song to you in the car or tells you (once he starts talking, giggle) all about the 'Easter' story, you will be so proud of him... and YOU!!!
My heart is break.ing for you. We went thru this with Eden. She is very shy too. She would get a death grip on my neck. I wish I had some magic formula for you but unfortunately it really is about being consistent. As much as it sucks, you have to keep taking him because it is what is best for him in the long run. I promise it will get better. Good luck, girl.
It's probably harder on you :) Maybe try someone else like Dusty or Angie dropping him off or I agree with Jessica a smile and quick hug... But it will get better!! We have a huge nursery so it's probably overwhelming for the both of you.
So I ended up staying in nursery with Addie for about two months until she adjusted. I couldn't handle her crying and didn't want her to feel abandoned, and usually they needed a sub so I would stay in and then she was fine doing her own thing. I wouldn't let her hang on me, she had to participate, and I would leave for a few minutes each time, getting longer until Addie was OK with me being gone. I made her do everything she was supposed to and after a few weeks she started doing it all voluntarily. She ended up loving nursery after those 2 months and LOVES preschool. She had no issue running into preschool and never turned back. I was grateful to have a mom in there that totally was fine with it and it was exactly what Addie needed to gain her own confidence in there and for future similar situations. Addie still is super shy but she totally is fine in situations without me now so it was worth it!! (PS my calling was activity days leader so Sundays didn't require me to be somewhere ). Good luck!!
Well, I think you're doing great. Deacon will find the nursery faces more and more familiar each Sunday. In just two months, at least six children will be leaving, making it calmer, slower. Give him a happy good-bye and even even happier hello when it's time for you to pick him up! You and Deacon are having a totally normal experience, and I think you are a very sweet mother. This will get easier.
Knowing somebody has gone through the same thing really makes me feel 100 times better. Thank you so much for the advice. i so appreciate it! Happy, consistent Nursery drop offs it is!! :)
Wow. Lots of comments. I just wanted to say that we are down 5 kids now and as a former leader.....we love them. Through and through. It's just in the nature of the job.
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