Lately.

Sometimes late at night, when I can't sleep, I get this urge to write on my old blog. Sometimes i type up a post on how i'm feeling or what is on my mind, and I will just save it. It feels so good to write down what's on your mind, doesn't it? My heart is so full today. And yesterday. And the day before that. When my boy is fast asleep in bed, and the house is quiet, and I just sit and think about my day, my life, my struggles, my joys...it all just is beautiful. I am not the "brag about my husband" type, But boy, oh boy, has he been such a huge help to me this past week. My Deacon had a fever for a couple days and one case of the pukes Saturday morning. I have severe emetophobia. When I say severe, imagine whatever you are imagining, only 1,000,000 times worse. It's silly really. But it will completely consume and paralyze me in fear. I will lock myself in the bathroom and stare at the wall, heart pounding, for hours. HOURS. It's out of control and absolutely horrible. Dusty was there to not only take care of our babe, but to lighten the mood so many times for me, let me be crazy and lock myself in rooms, everything I needed..he was there. I couldn't be more grateful. Me and Dusty joke that we know that we are meant to be together because of How I Met Your Mothers Olive theory, (one loves em, one hates em) And when we get wings, he likes drumettes, i like the...other pieces ha...He can't handle poopy diapers, I can't handle pukes. It All Works Out.  This afternoon, the air outside was chill and fall-like. We sat on the drive way and blew bubbles with Deacon. Dusty made the best "big ones" for Deacon to pop. I had a very vivid dream last night where I got to spend time with my grandma. Before she died, she said she would watch over me and my sister. I like to believe the dreams I have of her, which are all very similar and intense, are her way of letting me know she is. I drove by her house a few weeks ago and was so saddened by the dark unlit home with a For sale sign in the window. Very soon I will be going to the Temple for her. I am so very excited.  Deacon has started a preschool play group and is having some separation anxiety about it. It is as my house this week so hopefully it will go well. Deacon is doing great. He is a sensitive boy, and a big time momma's boy. Sometimes i call Deacon 'Stinky Pete' and often if I ask what his name is will tell me "Stinky Pete". He is funny. Deacon loves Trains and Dinosaurs and asks to watch "scary sharks" on youtube all day. Deacon loves animals. We take him to the Petco often to look at the fishes. He gets confused and calls the "Nemo fish" 'ELMO!" haha. Deacon repeats alot of what we say. If he wants something, he sometimes forgets to wait for my response before proclaiming "SUUUUURE, BABY!!" Or if I want him to come near me, he will say for me "C'MON, STINKY PETE!" It is oh so cute. I love him so so very much. Now if only he could never have the pukes EVER again, we'd be set! :)