Emotional Breakdowns, yay!

Dude...a few days ago, i put together Deacon's big boy bed. A real deal twin sized big boy bed!! Its actually a bunk bed but while putting it together (and yes I am the handyman here!) I could not make myself commit to the full on bunk bed. Seemed too grown up for me. I was nervous. The first night i put it together I felt sad. And anxious about it. So i shut the door to that room so I wouldn't see it and put Deac to bed in his crib. But the next day i thought, Gosh I am trying to keep him a baby forever!! So i.. gulp.. took apart his crib. Literally the entire time i cried. with each screw i took out i cried a little harder too. It was like a full on emotional breakdown. yikes, i know. It's still sitting all disassembled in my living room. But then i put his big boy bed in his room, with new big boy sheets and a ratty old blanket :-X (but its so old and COMFY!). And i tell you what, Deacon jumped onto the bed, All smiles! he loved it. So i felt better. I told myself that I would lay in bed with him and totally sleep with him every single night if I needed to..ok maybe not every night, but my mind was certainly racing and frantic about the whole thing so.. I dunno! ANYWHO. So the first night came and I laid in bed with him and we read our stories and said prayers, and i laid by him until he fell asleep. Then i left him. I could hardly sleep all night because i just KNEW he'd fall off the bed! Guess what though! HE DIDN'T. At around 8am he came strolling out of his room with his blanky and a big smile on his face. It was adorbs. So tonight I think, ya know what? I'd gotten him in a great habit of putting himself to sleep in his crib, maybe I'll just act all no biggy like and leave him in there awake. I was sure that he would crawl right out and follow me but Guess. What. HE DIDN'T. Well I mean it's only been like 40 minutes since i laid him down so i guess he still could come strolling out but HE HASN'T! And so I'd like to check off BIG BOY BED from our growing up to-do list! Sad face. Insert mom cliche-> "They grow up too fast"... waaahhhh!!!