I am the WORST!!

 Now, I think everybody who knows me.. knows that I am scared of pukes. I'm not just scared folks. It is a FEAR that consumes my entire body with panic and anxiety and all bad things in the world. Saying I am 'scared' is an understatement. I haven't yet thought of a word that is worthy of describing this massive all consuming 'fear'. IT controls ME! I have been known to sleep on the couch if Dusty says his tummy just hurts so i can avoid being in even a close proximity to POSSIBLE pukes. I HATE flying. Not because I am scared of crashing (although scary) I am scared someone will get AIR SICK next to me. I remember in high school on a charter bus coming home from Disney world with the band, a girl had the pukes on the bus.... I sat huddled up against my window and CRIED THE ENTIRE RIDE HOME with my hands firmly plastered against my ears like a FREAK OF NATURE. I think you get it. but you don't. Its what i've described times.. 20.. no 50!!!  Which brings me to my point.... Today... DEACON GOT THE PUKES. He puked twice in a row right in front of me in the kitchen the poor baby. And of course I did what ANY awesomely great mom would do..i screamed bloody murder "DUSTY! DUSTY DUSTY (looking at deacon "ITS OK BUDDY!!") DUSTY DUSTY!!!!! (its ok buddy!!) DUSTY!!!!DUSTY!!!" who comes flying in as i beg with teary eyes to please take deacon into the tub. Worst. Mom. EVER. I throw some towels on the mess.. which is all over Gus's back too. I came THIS CLOSE to having a full blown panic attack. All night I am eyeing Deacon every move he makes. He seems ok. Is running around playing and laughing and acting the same. But he was doing that right before... well.. you know what. My poor baby.  Oh dear. I knew this day would come but gosh I thought maybe my fear would just go away and Mommy Mode would kick in? Not so. :(. At least Daddy isn't afraid, right? My poor Deacy.