I am grateful

I feel like this is an obligatory post in November. But since i don't want to do a Thankful post... that means i really Need to do a Thankful post.
 I'm thankful *gulp* for trials. Wait. Am i? No. Wait, yes I am. I mean.. I'm thankful for trials, after they are complete in their coarse and I can step back and realize that it wasn't so bad and that it was meant to make me stronger. I hate trials in the midst of the trial of course. But when they are done? Sure. I'm thankful for them.
I'm thankful that I am a woman and that i could have a baby. I always in my head thought "My body isn't capable of having children" and when getting pregnant wasn't as easy or quick as i'd thought, I was so scared and upset. But boy do you forget the hard times when you get rewarded with such a beautiful wonderful perfect blessing. Which brings me to.. I am SO very thankful for my sweet Deacon. He is perfection and I would be so very lost without him. 'I love him' is an understatement. I'm obsessed. I'm grateful for my husband. My husband is tough. Not really physically tough, no. He endures, and endures, and endures some more. And even though the health trials are directly effecting him, I am the one whining and complaining and crying over them. Not him. He comforts ME. He puts up with my many moods and I love him for that. He works So hard. And just typing "he works so hard" brings a huge lump to my throat because... he does. He loves me and Deacon and we love him. Period.
I am so thankful for my house and for our vehicles. For the food in our fridge and pantry. For our family. I love them. Family is the best.

iphone pics.

I got an iphone this past summer and i've been in love ever since. I literally have almost 700 pictures on it already since July....

Deacon and his only girl cuz, Dylan.

Would you look at this sad face!?

All better!!

Jess thought I was just taking pics of the baby, but she was watching him so proudly :)

We baked cookies today! while Deacon ate Nerds.

grandmoni took us to lunch at Tai Pan. yum!

Milk mouth.

waking up.

Good Things

I don't blog anymore. I don't feel like I ever have anything GOOD to blog about. But recently some good things have happened that I should make note of.

1. Dusty got a new job position that he really wanted. 
2. My sister in law slash best friend Jessica had her sweet little baby, Grey.
3. Dusty woke up yesterday morning with NO. HEADACHE. 
4. Deacon now says- Cars, Treats, Balloon, Nah (no), Shoes,Sheesh (Jessicas dog). words i've heard him say not a ton but a few times now- Sugars (our dog) Cookie

Help meeeee!

Nursery. Oh boy. I was really looking forward to Deacon going to nursery, I was!  People would ask me for weeks leading up to his entry into Nursery, "When does he go into Nursery?... Soon?... Oh yay!" It wasn't that I was looking forward to 'getting rid of him' in there. I was genuinely looking forward to him getting to spend time with other kids his age because he is shy and doesn't get to spend time with other kids ever. The closer to his first day of nursery it got, the more nervous I was because i knew he'd be sad in there. So the day came and me and dusty walked him into Nursery and sat him down at the tiny table where puzzles were laid out and as we walked away i thought "wow. he really is going to be just fine!" So i walk out and immediately here him start to cry. I walked away to Primary with tears in my eyes hoping nobody starts talking to me or i just might start full on crying. A little while later, a nursery leader comes by to tell me he is crying alot and if i want to go check on him i can. So i do. I go sit in there with him and he clings to me and doesn't want to play or eat snack or anything. After a while, another super sweet mom helps me to leave him again and as soon as i leave I can't help but burst into tears!! Of course Deacon is in there crying his eyes out as well. It was dramatic. And embarrassing. AND pathetic on my part. I literally can not pay attention in my calling because i am constantly wanting to go peak in the window to see what shade of red his crying face is. its sad. sad sad sad. I know its best to keep taking him and letting him get used to it but honestly, it breaks my heart. breaks it into a million pieces. But my heart is easily broken if my baby is sad. I don't know. I had no idea Nursery would cause me such anxiety!! Any advice out there?!?!

First 'flower'

Today I sat on the couch and was playing on my laptop when Deacon comes excitedly running inside from the backyard with something in his hand. He smiles and walks up to me with this little piece of grass outstretched in his hand for me. I gasped and said "THANK YOU, HONEY!!!!" and he bashfully grinned and ran back outside. **I died from the cuteness**

18 months

lollipop after 18 month shots

I've been trying and trying to upload pictures of the house but even if they are saved on my computer as a normal picture when they upload here they are all sideways! Gr! So i'll post them when i can figure out why they are doing that and fix it! SO i need to do an 18 MONTH post on my sweetie....

Deacon is 18 months old now and i feel like I should insert my usual 'WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE' phrase but I think that is wearing off haha. It almost feels like I can't believe I once had a newborn..or was even pregnant!? What? When I see other teeny little babies its like my mind has completely forgotten that i ever had a baby that small. Its strange! Deacon is warming up to the new house but had a hard time adjusting the first few days. I think Gus being here really helped him feel comfortable. He loves that dang dog. Deacon loves to give Gus 'loves' and will hug him and give him kisses (ew). Deacons first Love is the IPAD/IPHONE/IPOD. Nothing makes him happier. Seriously. Its hilarious watching him play with them because he can work them perfectly. He knows how to slide the little bar to unlock them, go into settings to change the wallpaper,  swipes his finger over the screen to scroll through pictures... its crazy. If he is playing with his ipod touch (yes I said HIS ipod touch...smh) and the battery dies? He will, in a panic, run to me with his arm outstretched with the ipod looking at me like "OMG MOM! FIX THIS!!". Poor little guy :). Deacon also looooves to have books read to him. But only if its the book he chooses. The 2 main books he brings to me to read him are "Animals" and "Jesus Loves Me". He knows most all of the animals in the book and will identify them when asked "wheres the.. pig..cow.. horse?"......Until I try to show someone his trick. Then he plays dumb and points to the pig when I ask where the sheep is.  Deacon LOVES to be outside and i wished I had a picture of it, but will climb through our doggie door to get into the backyard if I haven't opened the door for him. Deacon's favorite foods are cheese grits, hot dogs, Oreo Cookies, rice, mashed potatoes, pasta, pretty much anything that isn't terribly difficult to chew. He REALLY loves it if Daddy gives him a sip of his Coke. Deacon loves to point to airplanes and wheels on cars. He still doesn't say much, but we are working on it!  I seriously love this kid. He is so incredibly sweet.  :)

My poor neglected blog.

I absolutely hate it when the only posts a blog gets are "I haven't blogged in a while, here's my update that nobody cares about" posts. But sadly, that is my blog now. So i shall update! Lets see, where did I leave off. Botox? Didn't work. Made em worse actually. How do you like that luck?? Did we find a home? YES. The perfect one for us. We are so excited and close in 2 weeks :). Deacon? He is such a big boy. Constantly "talking" although no REAL words yet. He thinks he is really saying something, but I sure wished I spoke his baby talk language. He is so cute. He got his first haircut when we got back from Utah in August. It made him look so grown up! He sure isn't a baby anymore. BOY do I love him.