I'm such a nutcase.

You know what i love about blogging? Other moms blog. Therefore I can ask advice and get excited to know that other moms out there perhaps will relate and reply :). OK so Deacon is  well on his way to 3 years old. When are you supposed to start them in a real preschool? It is so weird to think he might be ready for that. Where should I take him? He cries whenever he is dropped off at anything. This makes me extremely anxious. I have gone home early from church before strictly just to avoid the anxiety dropping him off at nursery causes me. Sigh. My newest problem with him starting preschool, I am terrified, i mean  TERRIFIED of the stories I have heard of kids started to get sick alot once they start preschool. Is that really true? I'm considering hiding me and my kid in our house and never leaving these days haha. I would love to hear some of your insights on this.... :\ I'm obviously scatter brained and a nut case about it so yeah.... thank you so much.

Lately.

Sometimes late at night, when I can't sleep, I get this urge to write on my old blog. Sometimes i type up a post on how i'm feeling or what is on my mind, and I will just save it. It feels so good to write down what's on your mind, doesn't it? My heart is so full today. And yesterday. And the day before that. When my boy is fast asleep in bed, and the house is quiet, and I just sit and think about my day, my life, my struggles, my joys...it all just is beautiful. I am not the "brag about my husband" type, But boy, oh boy, has he been such a huge help to me this past week. My Deacon had a fever for a couple days and one case of the pukes Saturday morning. I have severe emetophobia. When I say severe, imagine whatever you are imagining, only 1,000,000 times worse. It's silly really. But it will completely consume and paralyze me in fear. I will lock myself in the bathroom and stare at the wall, heart pounding, for hours. HOURS. It's out of control and absolutely horrible. Dusty was there to not only take care of our babe, but to lighten the mood so many times for me, let me be crazy and lock myself in rooms, everything I needed..he was there. I couldn't be more grateful. Me and Dusty joke that we know that we are meant to be together because of How I Met Your Mothers Olive theory, (one loves em, one hates em) And when we get wings, he likes drumettes, i like the...other pieces ha...He can't handle poopy diapers, I can't handle pukes. It All Works Out.  This afternoon, the air outside was chill and fall-like. We sat on the drive way and blew bubbles with Deacon. Dusty made the best "big ones" for Deacon to pop. I had a very vivid dream last night where I got to spend time with my grandma. Before she died, she said she would watch over me and my sister. I like to believe the dreams I have of her, which are all very similar and intense, are her way of letting me know she is. I drove by her house a few weeks ago and was so saddened by the dark unlit home with a For sale sign in the window. Very soon I will be going to the Temple for her. I am so very excited.  Deacon has started a preschool play group and is having some separation anxiety about it. It is as my house this week so hopefully it will go well. Deacon is doing great. He is a sensitive boy, and a big time momma's boy. Sometimes i call Deacon 'Stinky Pete' and often if I ask what his name is will tell me "Stinky Pete". He is funny. Deacon loves Trains and Dinosaurs and asks to watch "scary sharks" on youtube all day. Deacon loves animals. We take him to the Petco often to look at the fishes. He gets confused and calls the "Nemo fish" 'ELMO!" haha. Deacon repeats alot of what we say. If he wants something, he sometimes forgets to wait for my response before proclaiming "SUUUUURE, BABY!!" Or if I want him to come near me, he will say for me "C'MON, STINKY PETE!" It is oh so cute. I love him so so very much. Now if only he could never have the pukes EVER again, we'd be set! :)

Growing Up

I know it's silly to do a '26 month update' but.. here I am doing it. Deacon has started just this past week starting to say sentences. They are short sentences but I feel kind of amazed when he puts a few words together and I actually understand them. Anytime he hears a car/truck/bus pass the house he stops and says "I HEAR BU-BUS! HEAR BU-BUS!" He will say "I help" "Gus-gus, Sit!" "Mommy, Sit!" "I sit" "I go" "Dinosaurs, ROAR!!" "Dinosaur shirt." "Buzz blanket" "Night night, horsey,buzz,mommy,dada..etc" "Hi Fishy, shadow,gus..etc" "There it is!" "I did it!" and so on. He points to his face or mine or any toy's face and will name its body parts.. mostly just eyes, ears, "mose", mouth, eyebrows, toes. Today while buying strawberries at a little stand Deacon looked at them and said "STRAWBERRIES!" and i've never heard him say that before or even really tried to ask him to. The other day I was roaring like a dinosaur to Deacon and he looked in my eyes and leaned in and gave me a kiss haha! I couldn't stop smiling ;) This month we have been spending time with his cousin Dylan. His jealousy gets the best of him and it's the first glimpse i've seen of some Terrible Two's behavior! This past month he suffered a broken leg and some NASTY sores on his foot from the boot. It's healing up really nicely though! I feel like this seriously is the BEST age and GOSH do i love my boy. He is perfection!

JUST SAYIN

On jan 18th, on the night of phillip phillips audition, I blogged that i predicted he'd win the whole thing! Called it!!!! :-D I feel like I should win some sort of prize or something ha!! Love him

Who wants to...

Tell me every detail they know about potty training. what works.. what doesn't work... I think it's time to start but am so freaked out about starting!!!

it NEVER. gets old.

this will forever be my favorite song. It's been my favorite for years. and I think i'm in love with the lead singer ha.

Cathedral Circle

Tonight, like many other nights, I was browsing MLS to see what homes were for sale. I have no reason to look but when we were in the market, i became obsessed so it is still fun for me to go take a gander once in a while. So tonight I'm browsing the new listings and BAM, there is a listing for my grandma's home. I guess the people who bought it, redid the floors and are moving again so soon! But when I saw it, my eyes got huge and my throat got a huge knot in it and i clicked on it. The first photo of the home was the kitchen, and my eyes got teary. Immediately i remembered coming to clean while she was ill. And swiffering those floors and wiping down those counter tops. And looking at our pictures on her fridge. Then the sunroom, where she always sat. Then the outside where these flowers were blooming that, last year this time I picked one and stuck it in my hair because i thought grandma would think it was pretty. It was hard to see again. I miss her. And i often dream about her. In every dream I have of her, I am aware that she is gone, and that in this dream I am getting a chance to see a glimpse of her. Every dream, I am so desperate for the time I get to have with her and I hold onto it. It still doesn't feel like she is really not here. Sometimes I feel this panicky feeling all of a sudden like "It has been SO long since you visited Grandma, You should go....". Thinking of you tonight, Grandma.